This is a follow up post on transferring. Practical matters, of course, require the wise application of sound principles. This starts with asking and answering good questions. This post is aiming at principles and questions. Changes like transferring are usually caused by frustration. But how are you to know whether you are jumping out of the frying pan into the proverbial fire?

Here are four good questions to think through if you are considering changing schools (especially mid-year):

• Is your frustration something that will or will not change?
• Have you tried to work with the school concerning your frustration? What was the outcome?
• Can you rationally explain why you are transferring?
• Do you know the 4 Ps of the school you’re moving to: People, Principles, Pace, and Philosophy?

Questions #1: Is the cause of your frustration something that will or will not change?

So you are frustrated. Make sure that you understand why you are frustrated.

Is it with the teacher? Can the teacher be changed or is there something to be learned by helping your child to work with a teacher they don’t like (remember, they will probably have bosses they don’t like). Also, have you talked with the teacher about the problem. Many times families make decisions to make big changes without talking to the person whose actions are bothers them. Remember, Matthew 18: go to the person.

Is it their friends or classmates? This might change too, and the friends are likely to grow up (many do!). Also, kids need to learn to deal with peers who are difficult and challenging. The world is full of hurtful people (we are all hurtful at some point). Before you pull the rip chord consider how you can help your child learn to overcome the obstacles that other people can be. Of course, you need to protect children especially when they are younger. I often worry, however, that parents jump into situations with classmates that could and should be handled with coaching rather than fleeing.

Is the frustrations with the school’s philosophy, approach, or culture? This probably is NOT going to change. If you find yourself out of step on these points, you can push all you want (you can even get others to push)….eventually you will lose. A school’s leadership, its methods, and its philosophy are usually deeply ingrained. If you find yourself at odds on these points, you should consider a change.

In my next point on this thread: Principle #2: Have you tried to work with the school concerning your frustration? What was the outcome?