"In the Christian story God descends to re-ascend. He comes down; down from the heights of absolute being into time and space, down into humanity…down to the very roots and sea-bed of the Nature He has created. But He goes down to come up again and bring the ruined world up with Him. One has the picture of a strong man stooping lower and lower to get himself underneath some great complicated burden. He must stoop in order to lift, he must almost disappear under the load before he incredibly straightens his back and marches off with the whole mass swaying on his shoulders. Or one may think of a diver, first reducing himself to nakedness, then glancing in mid-air, then gone with a splash, vanished, rushing down through green and warm water into black and cold water, down through increasing pressure into the death-like region of ooze and slime and old decay; then up again, back to colour and light, his lungs almost bursting, till suddenly he breaks surface again, holding in his hand the dripping, precious thing that he went down to recover. He and it are both coloured now that they have come up into the light: down below, where it lay colourless in the dark, he lost his colour, too.”
–C.S. Lewis, Miracles

Advent is a season in which, historically, the church has remembered the incarnation of Christ. It is a season that emphasizes, more than anything else, the greatest miracle of all, divine humility. Think about it: God the Son, the creator of the universe, takes on flesh and humbles himself and becomes man. More than that, as Philippians 2 tells us, Jesus forsook his rights as the second person of the Trinity and abased himself to the point of a terribly humiliating death on a cross. In the quote above, C.S. Lewis emphasizes the miraculous way God decided to save us. He decided to enter into our broken world by going down, down, down into the depths of its brokenness. But he came down to burst upward, carrying the broken thing on his back. He came down to make something new and beautiful out of the tragedy of his ruined creation.

The advent and Christmas season, then, should cause us to reflect upon the great mystery of the incarnation. What is often lost in this season, however, is the anticipation that surrounds the incarnation. In all great stories, a terrible conflict is revealed that must be resolved lest the story devolve into tragedy. The participants in the story wait with bated breath for the resolution. By fits of action—honest but impotent attempts to solve the problem themselves—they discover their need of a savior. In their darkest moments, they pray for the savior to come. The advent of the savior brings hope, and the longed-for possibility of a resolution of the terrible conflict. But the savior too has a great struggle. He is bloodied by the battle. He is scarred. It looks like he might be defeated. And then, when all hope is lost, suddenly comes the victory. The denouement leaves us breathless.

In our families, we want to recreate this anticipation during this season. The advent season should be a season of reflection. We reflect upon our own brokenness. We reflect upon our own need of a savior. We reflect upon our own anticipation of a longed-for denouement that resolves the terrible conflict and brings joy where there was once despair, as we sing in the hymn of the advent season, “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel.” We place ourselves within a story, a story in which we too are anticipating the advent of a miraculous savior. A gift is most deeply appreciated when it is most desperately needed.

Chiefly, advent is a season in which we are reminded not only of the original need for a savior, but also our present and continual need for his return. In this sense, advent not only celebrates his first coming, but it also looks forward to, and anticipates, his final advent. Thus, the Gospels mention many times the need for us to be ready. Readiness comes from a desire for him to return. We must ready our hearts for his return so that when he comes he finds us waiting for him.

The German word sehnsucht conveys the idea of a painful yet strangely joyful desire. It is an ache in our souls. We are preparing our hearts because we are awaiting—with aching longing—the advent of the perfect gift. Creating anticipation is easy during the advent season because our children are already anticipating the advent of their own gifts! However, before those gifts come, we can place them in their proper context. We are, ultimately, anticipating the return of the greatest gift, Christ. This reminds us that the people “walking in darkness” were waiting for a great light to appear (Isaiah 9:2). And even though he has already appeared and his light has shown in the darkness, and will not be overwhelmed by it (John 1:5), we are still waiting for his final advent. We rejoice in the “already,” but wait, longingly, for the “not yet.”

So how can we create this proper anticipation in our families? Here are some concrete ideas for how we might, in our own families, recreate the sense of longing and anticipation that ought to be the hallmark of the season:

1) Advent Calendar

Get a good advent calendar that gives the children both pieces of the story of Christmas and images and symbols that can help to fill out their imaginations. When this is done annually, it creates placeholders in their imagination—placeholders filled every year by Christian imagery, Christian joy, Christian hope. You can purchase one like any of these shown on Christianbooks.com, use free printables like these from the Happy Home Fairy, or find inspiration to make your own on Pinterest.

2) Jesse Tree

Do a craft project with the children and create a Jesse tree that can be used year after year. Jesse trees help to show how God worked through all of Scripture to bring about the advent of Christ. They particularly focus upon symbols that represent the different ways that the Bible prophetically points to Christ.

3) Names of Jesus Devotional

Find a devotional book that considers the names of Jesus. This can be done in conjunction with an advent wreath. Studying the names of Jesus—especially in the context of a crafty activity—can help children to see the full picture of Christ as savior. Another advent devotional I would recommend for adults is Good News of Great Joy, consisting of excerpts from John Piper's works.

4) Advent Wreath

Involve the children in the process of creating an advent wreath. Use the candles in the wreath (lit on each Sunday before Christmas and then finally on Christmas) as an opportunity to do a brief devotional. Again, studying the names and titles of Christ would be a wonderful theme for each devotion.

5) Christmas Traditions

Remind children about the Christian traditions that have pervaded Christmas through the ages. The evergreen of a Christmas tree signifies that Christ’s life is “ever green.” The red of the holly plant reminds us of the blood of Christ, which makes our life “ever green.” Explain to them that the winter solstice is the shortest day of the year, but that from Christmas on, the light is increasing. Christ is the “light of the world.” And, “the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it” (John 1:5). The traditions surrounding St. Nicholas, or the story of King Wenceslaus, or the Christmas hymns that have such beautiful imagery (like “Jesus Christ the Apple Tree”)—all of these are wonderful ways to create an imagination in our children, an imagination filled with more than toys, cookies, and “ho, ho, ho.” In fact, it will make all of those things infinitely more meaningful, and thus more joyful.

6) Serving Others

One of the ways that we can ready our hearts is to serve others, just as Christ served us. The incarnation is the ultimate example of self-sacrificial servanthood. This attitude of service can be cultivated simply by helping our children to identify those in their midst who are needy. Maybe an elderly neighbor could use a little company. Maybe grandma and grandpa could use some help cleaning out the garage. Start an Operation Christmas Child campaign in your church and involve your children in the process of buying gifts and packing boxes. Certainly siblings can shop for each other and be intimately involved in the process (and joy) of giving. 

More than anything else, take time to make this season particularly special. Give yourself to your family. Put aside as best as you possibly can the busyness and cares of the workaday world and devote yourself to your family. Give yourself to them, sacrificially. When you as parents do that for your children, they will see, ultimately, that Christmas is not really about the wrapped-up boxes under the tree. It is about the love of Christ, which shines in our hearts.