My daughter turned five earlier this month.

She made up her mind months ago that she wanted to throw a princess ball for her birthday party. Not just a princess party, mind you. A legit ball.

After we established that said “ball” would be simply held in our humble abode - to which my daughter happily obliged - I set about on my Pinterest-guided mission to create an unforgettable ballroom experience in our little family room.

It was a joy for me to do it. I love blessing my little girl; after all, as the youngest, she often by default has to tag along with her older brother’s playdates and activities, to my job where she must sit quietly while I get things done, and other such afterthought activities. I was excited to give her a chance to feel like a princess for a day.

After some research, I settled on decorations that included white christmas lights, shimmery tulle, ribbons, and a lovely curtain to partition off the room. Simple and elegant...and I was excited.

When my daughter asked to help decorate for the party, I showed her what I was doing with a smile on my face and sparkle in my eye.

My pleasure was met with a vehement pout. After a moment of sullen silence, my daughter stomped her foot and declared: “But I wanted a REAL CHANDELIER!”

Excuse me?

Deep breaths, mama.

I needed a moment. Considering how angry I became with her, I probably should have taken several moments.

Setting aside the obvious facts that a chandelier was not in our budget (shocker, right?) and all the other monetary and logistical obstacles to such a request, it was the entitled, greedy nature of her attitude that appalled me. I have strived for years to instill a heart of gratitude and selflessness in my kids. Where did I go wrong? If I’m being honest, I was a little offended.

I may have lost my cool when her dissatisfaction with a crystal chandelier-free party persisted, despite my calm assertions that not only was a chandelier physically impossible, but that her selfish heart attitude was concerning to me. It truly burned me up inside, knowing that I was lovingly pouring time and creativity her celebration, only to have her demand more with such gall.

As I was debriefing over the phone with a friend later that night, something struck me - and pierced my heart in the process.

How many “chandeliers” do I have?

How much has the Lord loving poured into my life, only for me to sulk in my heart wallowing in stress, frustration, and dissatisfaction? How often have I casually brushed aside not only the abundant gifts I’ve received, but also the ways I can bless others with those resources, simply because my heart is distracted with all my perceived wants and needs that are not yet met?

Oh, how parenting shows us a reflection of our own flawed nature, and often in painful ways.

I may not be desiring a fancy car, bigger house, or really anything money can buy, but I certainly find myself craving things that are rooted in fleshly desires.

My own perfectionist visions of how I want things to be can blind me to the joy that can be found in the way things are. The tulle and Christmas lights are not enough. I envisioned a crystal chandelier.

Whether it’s in my relationship with my spouse and my (sometimes unrealistic) expectations for him, in times when I see others accomplishing things that I had dreamed of, in frustrations over not having enough “me” time, in coveting talents or other blessings that someone else has, or yes, even in material things that I find myself desiring, there are plenty of things that fester and foster discontent in my heart.

This is not God’s best. Obviously. Scripture lays out a model of gratitude and generosity for us, and promises blessing for our hearts in return.

1 Corinthians 9:11-12 tell us:

“He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way to be generous in every way, which through us will produce thanksgiving to God. 12 For the ministry of this service is not only supplying the needs of the saints but is also overflowing in many thanksgivings to God.”

And again in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18: “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

Indeed, the Word makes it clear that God desires a grateful heart in all of us. For His sake as well as ours.

And here comes Christmas, with all its glistening promises of love, joy, peace, hope - oh yes, and parties and decorations and great food and traveling and extended family and the perfect presents...and so it goes, on and on.

If there is ever a season that breeds stress and discontent in my heart, sadly this is it (I know, I am ashamed to admit it). Is anyone else in this boat? I don’t think I’m fully alone.

It’s not that I want the perfect gift for myself, but I do have perfect expectations for how Christmas should go for us, our family, and friends. And I rarely have the time or resources to actually make that happen.

So I have a little Christmas meltdown. A grown-up tantrum, you might say. Because the holiday stress takes over and I can’t seem to make everything as picture-perfect as I think it should be.

I WANT A CHANDELIER.

My daughter’s royal pout-fest was perhaps not much worse than the way I stress and struggle when things don't go my way. Maybe that's why her reaction made me so angry. It awakened an awareness of my own selfishness and shortfalls.

It also caused me to temper her discpline with a measure of grace, and to share with her that I understand the struggle and disappointment of, well, not getting what you want. I just know how to act now. I've got a better filter.

We talked about gratefulness – not just saying thank you, but truly being thankful in our hearts. We shared with each other ways that we can bless others with all we've been given. And this conversation has continued in our family all month, and we have since been more intentional about giving of our resources, time, and money to those in need in our community and world.

Today – and this Christmas – I want to encourage all of you to let go of your chandeliers and rejoice in the Lord always; again, I say, rejoice!

And when the self-centered tendancies in our children rears its ugly head in the midst of the parties, treats, gift exchanges and other excitement, perhaps we can take a step back and examine how all of us can be more grateful and generous.

Because truly, the One who is our portion and provider – the Desire of Nations – came down to satisfy in ways that no earthly pleasure can. We celebrate good tidings of great joy which shall be to all people:

For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given;
and the government shall be upon his shoulder,
and his name shall be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the increase of his government and of peace
there will be no end,
on the throne of David and over his kingdom,
to establish it and to uphold it
with justice and with righteousness
from this time forth and forevermore.
The zeal of the Lord of hosts will do this.
- Isaiah 9:6-7

Indeed, there is nothing more our souls can ask for.

Away with the chandeliers. May our families rest thankfully in Christ this season.