I have been away in Mt. Vernon, IN, this week attending the funeral of my grandmother, Mary Martha Ranes. She died last week after 92 years having lived a faithful and full life to the end. I always thought that “Gran” was a bit of a legend for the stories about the things that she did and the challenges that she overcame were the epic stories of that I grew up with.

As we came to the time of her viewing and funeral, I was surprised to find that most people seem to view her in about the same light that I did. The line for her viewing curled through the funeral parlor. Some had to stand in line over and hour and a half to make it to the coffin. Her family and friends joined together for her service and laid her in the ground beside her beloved husband Francis Ranes who had preceded her in death by 56 years.

I got to speak at the service for a brief moment. Here are my thoughts. I share them as a tribute to a Great Lady who lived life well and gave to her family two crucial gifts: identity and destiny. Here are my thoughts:

It is amazing that all of you are here today and that seemingly most of our town cycled through this room last night. Mary Martha Ranes held no great office and was connected to no great ministry. Yet, obviously, she had an impact. Her impact was personal. When asked how she would save the world, she once answered: “One person at a time.”

Now, after 92 years of her life, we all find that our lives are torn by her departure. For she was for many of us a foundation of strength and our lives were lived in reaction to and in complement to her life.

Some have asked me in this last week: “Can we be as strong as she was?” My answer is: “Of course not!” She was given strength by God to face circumstances and obstacles that would break most people. As a young mother of three daughters, she was widowed and left to fend for herself and to provide for her children. She was saddled with debt that she did not accrue. She did not buckle or bend. She stood strong for her family. We cannot be as strong because, thank God, we have not faced the circumstances that she did. We can, however, count on this: God will give us grace for today and if we are called to face these or even greater challenges, then He will give us grace to meet these challenges.

While we feel this tear, we have to take stock of what Gran has left us. She bequeaths to us no great fortune in material goods, but she has handed down to us something much more precious. She has given us a tradition. Now, traditions can become shackles and traps. We cannot believe everything that Gran believed. I don’t even think that Gran believed everything that she believed and now in heaven we should know that she is probably altering some of her opinions. She will have more instruction for us when we see her again no doubt.

Traditions, at their best, are not a trap; they are a blessing! We need, however, to understand what is at the root or core of the tradition. So, what is at the core of the tradition that Gran protected and passed down to us? As I have considered this over the last few days, I think there are three main parts or key ingredients that provided an identity and a destiny for our family. Here they are:

First, Gran provided us with stories. Stories that defined our family, that helped us understand what we as a family valued, and that gave us insight in what our community is, or should be, all about. Today, we have told a number of stories about Gran. There are many more. She changed the addresses of many here in the room by buying her own signs, placing them on the roads, and demanding that the county recognize her name choices. (Our family apologizes for the inconvenience of having to change you address a few times!) She also had a “final solution” for the dogs that bothered her during her morning walks (thank goodness this one failed). But more than the stories of her exploits, she showered us with stories about the great happenings of the past. She talked about many people in our town remembering the great deeds and the lesser, often hilarious, ones. All of these gave us a sense of ourselves and what our family and our lives should be about and taught us what we should be committed to.

Second, she pointed us toward our destiny. She was always willing to serve. She called us to service as well. Few people in our town have gone long with out enjoying one of Gran’s cookies. She made thousands of them and gave them to anyone and everyone. She made cookies for the homeless shelter into her nineties. She knit hundreds of afghans for children—providing many for children of the fatherless in our town. She used her time profitably for others.

Finally, she pointed us toward the critical way that we can accomplish our destiny. The path to success is the path of sacrifice. When faced with the loss of her beloved husband, when faced with massive debt, when faced with the need to raise three daughters with little help, she could have crumbled; she could have folded; she could have given way to doubt and despair. She didn’t. Instead of giving in or falling apart she sacrificed her needs, her joys, her self. For what did she make sacrifice? She had three things that she focused on: her faith, her family, and the future. She worked diligently and sacrificed for all of these things! She paid off the debt on a farm. This was the land on which I grew up. She served in her church sacrificing countless hours to teach a Sunday school class for decades and playing the piano during countless worship services. She sacrificed her life to provide for our future.

So to what does this tradition call us? It calls us to examine our own life and the impact that our lives our having in our family’s and in our communities. What is the trajectory of our life? This tradition, like all good traditions, calls on us to live up to it. If we can live up to it, we can also fail to live up to it. Let’s think together about the trajectory and impact of our lives. Are you providing a destiny and an identity for your children and for your community? Are you telling them stories to help clarify their values? Are you making the necessary sacrifices for your faith, for your family, and for the future? Know this: your life will be sacrificed for something. You will give you life to something. Will you do it for these precious sacred things or will you trade in your life for your own pleasure and peace.

We would like to have one final symbol to memorialize this impact that Gran has had on all of our lives. Of course, the source of her strength was Christ. Christ did His work in her life and in our lives through her impact. So, now we are asking any who would to affirm this impact that Gran has had on all of us and to commit ourselves to carrying on this impact in our families, our churches, and our community. “For light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it” John 1:5. Today, we, Gran’s family members will light these candles symbolizing our affirmation of her sacrifices and our intention of carrying on her impact and this tradition in our own lives.