Recently, I got into a tiny verbal joust with a friend over whether technology was connecting us with our friends more effectively. I said that it was not. He demurred. The moment passed. I saw this article and realized that we really need to have this discussion:

The article draws a conclusion that I believe is valid, but certainly will need more proving: that kids are delaying getting their driver’s license because their technology allows them to stay in touch with their friends without making the effort of going to them.

As a believer and as a dad, this bothers me on a number of levels.

1. It lends itself to an gnostic view of life. God made us bodies and minds together. Technology tends to divorce these two and favors only the mind (Lewis saw this coming in That Hideous Strength). Science seems to have this fantasy that is really a nightmare—that we can untether our minds from our bodies.
2. The Trinitarian push is to be “with” the other. The “withness” that happens in technological connections is not the same “withness” that happens when we are playing scrabble, or basketball, or eating a meal, or just hanging out.
3. Lives mediated through technology are “airbrushed”. People share only the things that make them look cool. Even their problems are in bit sized pieces. The whole truth is never told (the mediums just don’t support it). I am not against half-truths for summary purposes, but as more of life gets pushed into that column we have to ask, with Pilate: “What is truth?”
4. Techno-friendships are actually a sort of dangerous panacea because they have a narrowing effect on us. They give us a sense of having made a human connection, but this satisfaction causes us to miss a few things. We tend to only make connections with people who are like us. We need to meet and relate to people who are very different. In the online world, we tend to sort into groups of people who think, speak, and act alike. This is happening in church denominations and cable TV, but it is happening in a more comprehensive way with people who are deeply involved in social media. This is the end of community because community comes to mean something like club.
5. Techno-friendships are actually a sort of dangerous panacea because they have a closing effect on us. They make us feel that we have our social connections met, so we need not get to know our neighbors. One can imagine Christ retelling of the story of the Samaritan now saying something like this: “A Levite happened by and passed by the man in need. He did, however, text his friends saying ‘Just saw a dude slammed on the roadside. L What is up?!?! Feel bummed.” Social isolation is supposed to push us out toward meeting others. This is because we were created by a Trinity and we long to hang around with other images of God. God calls us to this. Christian civilization did this. Text civilization does not do this. God calls us to be sanctify and work in this world where the grass grows. This does not mean that you cannot be involved in writing, speaking, and connecting to others online. It does mean that this must not distract you from the Samaritan on the roadside. “Who is my neighbor?” was the question that the lawyer asked Jesus. The answer that he was hoping for was “your Jewish brother.” The answer he received was “whoever is in front of you and is in need.” If our answer is “my college buddy in Oregon” when needs are in front of us, I think that we are giving a more nonsensical answer than the Jewish attorney.
6. Parents do not see the problem well because it is a quiet problem and most parents just want quiet. I have set in a room of teens textings. It is much different than a room of teens talking. It is much quieter.