Whether it is a natural disaster or a mass shooting, the news is often filled with terrible, tragic sins and calamities. Death, destruction, and terror rain on people and communities, and in a world filled with iPhones we get to see it all on video (over and over again).

As parents, we might not want to wade into these issues, but we really don’t have a choice. If we are going to live in this culture (even if we cut off the Internet and have no TV), we are going to find out about the catastrophes that sometimes seem to surround us.  

And as your child sees or hears about tragic events unfolding, they are likely to ask questions, and perhaps experience complex emotions surrounding the unsettling news. Here are some tips for parents to help your children navigate tumultuous waters of our tragedy-laced world.

1. Start with the safety of your love and care.

When you child asks about some news that they have heard on TV or from their friend, remember that the question at the heart of all other questions is: “Are we going to be ok?” As parents, we need to give our children answers, but first we must provide the context. That context needs to be the assurance of our love as a parent and of our commitment to protect our family and keep them safe.

2. Teach them to weep with those who weep.

The Scriptures are clear on this point. When someone faces trouble, we should gather around them, avoid trying to answer all our questions or theirs, and simply weep with them. This means that we should take time to pray for people when they are suffering. Pray at meals; pray before bed; pray when concerns come up. This sort of preparation (weeping with others and praying for them) prepares us for the right reaction when we face times of terrible loss or great risk. As a child in my family, we prayed often for people. When we ended up in a ditch during a tornado-producing storm, or when we faced some terrible medical circumstances, prayer was in our DNA. Weep with those who weep.

3. Help them to trust God and respect those who protect and serve us - and prepare your child to be that kind of person.

Your love and protection is foundational for your child, but it is also (only) sacramental. It is a sign of something. The thing that it signifies is the love and protection of God. In the end, our hope is in the Lord who made the heavens and the earth. He rules over all things. Nothing can snatch us from His hand. He does call us to trust Him even if He calls us to face terrible loss. Start, however, with helping your child trust in God.

Also, help them see the protectors that God puts in their lives. Help them know that when evil people try to harm us, God has also called people to confront evil and protect the innocent. These people (police officers, firemen, soldiers, etc.) are not perfect and they should not be worshipped, but they are people of great courage who run toward rather than away from trouble. This deserves respect, and it is what we want our children to be in small ways to the world around them. Truly, we don't have to wear a uniform to protect and fight against the evil that accosts the world.

Some of our children will be called to fill these roles in the future. It is awesome when you can model this for your child by being a helper in times of crisis. I will never forget the time when my father heard a woman being attacked. She was in a secluded place and he and my family were the only ones around. He ran toward the sounds and chased the man away who was beating his girlfriend. I didn't have to ask if my dad would protect us. After all, he was committed to protecting even those he did not know.

4. Don’t sugarcoat evil. Evil is real and we should name it without apology.

Often, I see parents wanting to keep their child from seeing or thinking about evil. You need to take their age and maturity into account, but you should not sugarcoat evil. Your children need to know that people can make evil choices. We call that sin. We must fight against sin, but some people don’t; instead, they embrace it. We need to pray for these people. Pray that they would repent, and pray that others (maybe even you or your children someday) would confront them and stop them.

5. Don’t spend too much time watching the news with them.

When tragedies happen, it is hard to look away, but too much exposure to the news or to some horrific video might be more than what young children can handle. Balance your own life and theirs by turning away if possible. If the loss is too close and personal, please reach out for help for your child and yourself. Pastors and counselors can be a crucial at times like this.

God does not promise us lives without tragedy. He tells us that we are going to walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death.  He also reassures us that He will be with us as we traverse it. As parents, we are called to prepare our children for this heartrending trek. We need to walk with our children as we prepare them to walk with God through the challenges of life.