I was sitting at the pool on a warm summer day, under the shade of a big oak tree when a feeling of dread approached.  I had been chatting with another mom when we realized school was a mere six weeks away.  We talked about whether or not our kids were excited about the upcoming school year - now first graders, this whole school thing was old hat...or at least it should have been.

For our family, school has been a different kind of transition.  One of our kids struggled a lot with separation anxiety.  I touched on it a little bit in this post, noting how amazing it was to have a teacher who was willing to pray with, comfort, and hug my little guy as his mama walked away.  The tough drop offs lasted well in to March last school year, breaking my heart each time. 

We ruled out any factors that may be causing anxiety at school - he liked his teacher, he had several friends (no bullies) - in fact, he actually enjoyed being at school and missed it over the weekend!  However, our family had several outside factors that made kindergarten a little harder (emotionally) than it needed to be, and this was evident in the way my son clung to my waist when it was time to enter his classroom.

I am happy to report that this year, now two weeks in to first grade, there have been no tears!  I'm sure age, maturity, and familiarity are the biggest components to his success, but below are some tips and tricks that have also helped us along the way.  I am not a licensed therapist, and though several of these ideas came from one, please know that this is not a formula for perfection or medical advice.

ROLE PLAY

My six year old thought this process was a little ridiculous, but I think the silliness of it helped to break the ice.  We set up stations around the room - a bedroom area, a bathroom area, a kitchen area, a car area, and a classroom area.  We walked through what his routine would look like in the morning (wake up, get dressed, personal hygiene, eat breakfast, pack up back pack and lunch, drive to school, arrive at school and hang up back pack).   Then for fun, we did a speed round with a timer! A PBS Expert Tips & Advice article nicely explains why this is a great strategy: "The best way to gain mastery over worries is to practice taking control of worrisome situations."

ROUTINE

This suggestion piggy backs on the role playing thought, but we try to make sure that each morning is the same.  For my son, knowing what to expect out of his day (or at least the part that is stressing him out, school drop off) helps to diffuse worrying about the unknown.

Routines should even apply to night time - taking time to talk about the next day, picking out clothes, packing lunch together, and praying over the next day can do a world of good.

EXTRA TIME

One of the things my son requested when preparing for first grade was to arrive to school early. 

Confession - I am always late to everything!  He shared that if he could be one of the first students at school he would have extra time to play with his friends in the morning.  "Good!" I thought, "something for him to be excited about and look forward to!"

In addition to the play time aspect of arriving early, that extra 15-20 minutes of buffer time means that we are not rushing in the morning and can create more of a happy and calm atmosphere as each family member moves through their morning routines.  Allowing extra time is just good all around!

EAT YOUR PROBLEMS AWAY ACTIVITY

(not what you think, read on!)

This activity came straight from a play therapist, and it was completely gold.  While we used it to address stress and fear concerning school, the activity could really be applied to any stressor in a kid's life.

1. Buy a huge pack of fruit snacks.  You know, the ones that are $1 at the Target check out line.  Have your child sort the fruit snacks by color.

2.  Show your child a "feelings chart" and have them identify 3-5 of the feelings they are having concerning school.  Here is one you can print (at right). Assign each feeling a fruit snack color.  Example: red for happy, orange for sad, purple for nervous, etc.

3.  Once they have identified the feelings, take time to discuss them and mark them with the assigned  colored fruit snack.  For example, "I am happy about going to school because I get to see my friends Luke and Ben."  Then add two red fruit snacks to the "happy" face.  "I am sad because I will be away from mommy."  Add an orange fruit snack to "sad." 

4.  Take a moment to observe the feelings.  If the child has not identified a positive feeling (happy, excited, etc), encourage them to examine/think about the good aspects of school. 

5.  The last step is the best part - reframing.  Take each negative feeling and fruit snack and find a way to see the silver lining.  When a silver lining is found, they can eat the negative feeling fruit snack and add another positive feeling fruit snack to the chart.  For example, "I am sad I will be away from mommy, but happy because she will pick me up at 3 o'clock, and while I am at school I will get to see my friends."  The child then eats the orange "sad" fruit snack, and subsequently adds another red fruit snack to the happy pile. 

6.  In the end, your child will have a whole big pile of "happy" fruit snacks, will have diffused every worry, and will have gotten to devour a boat load of sugary sweetness.   

SEEK HELP 

Finally, if your transition is anything as difficult as ours was, please don't hesitate to seek help.  Alert your classroom teacher and any other school staff they your child may come in contact with in the morning.  Ask for suggestions, and ask for help.   The beauty of Veritas Academy is that  teachers are meeting about and praying for my child, and they are just an email, text, or phone call away.

For more tips on helping your child cope with back to school anxiety, check out this article from AnxietyBC.

Are you looking for a school that makes both you AND your child feel truly confident and joyful with each daily drop-off? Where you know they are with teachers who care deeply for them - mind, body, and spirit - and where they can grow in wonder and knowledge of God's truth, beauty, and goodness? We welcome you to come check out Veritas Academy and see how your child can flourish here this school year! 

There are still some spots left in select classes for this year, so schedule your visit today today to discover more.

Click the button below, or call Jill Trimbath, Director of Admissions, at (717) 205-3617.